Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Brad Pitt Stars in Getty Images Movie


Hollywood has finally created a movie entirely out of stock footage from Getty Images. Using deleted and leftover clips from Benjamin Button, they just added Brad Pitt's image into a bunch of scenes making an entirely new movie. Seemingly the studio was not concerned over the lack of a story seeing as they had Brad Pitt and pretty images, 2 out of the 3 things needed for a successful movie. Sean Penn was thrown into the mix as it was thought too much beauty would be overstimulating, kinda like that feeling you get if you try and masturbate right after you just did.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Cat Confused By Size Of Head


Most cats are quite determined to fit themselves into confined spaces like paper bags and dresser drawers, this one is special. This cat is convinced he can fit himself into a Nalgene bottle. Reach for the dream my furry friend. You know what they always say: "Shoot for the stars, and you'll land among the stars...or something like that."

Monday, December 6, 2010

Cats Playing Pattycake


Cats doing anything is already amazing enough, but one of my favorite things to do is watch them play pattycake. Not only are they standing like a people, but they usually look bored as hell doing it, and then judge you for watching them. This video features some dubbed over dialogue on what they're "really" saying while they play.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Sexiest Music Video Ever?


Most rap videos feature expensive cars and sexy women, this video has nothing of the sort. It's almost like a video game had a nightmare, ate said nightmare and then threw it up, then set that on fire. Then they took the remaining sludge and gave it to an elephant with a paint brush to paint with. Someone then used the painting to play pictionary with at an awkward dinner party where someone farted and everyone heard but no one acknowledged it. Then they took the description of the painting and a buncha 3rd graders played 'whisper down the lane' with it. The end result of that was then manifested into a music video. Enjoy.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Cookie Monster to Host SNL!?


Cookie Monster is campaigning to host SNL, hey it worked for Betty White! He made his own audition tape, which sad to say, is funnier than most SNL skits that don't feature Kristen Wiig. Plus saying "Om nom nom nom nom!" never gets old. Check out the video below and also his Facebook Page.

Secret Kitten


What could be better than a kitten cuddle puddle? How about a secret hidden kitten. It's like a "Seek 'n Find", only better cause it's fluffy and purrs. Plus you don't have to worry about that asshole kid from your dentist's office that circles the boot hidden in the outline of the tree in pen so that no one else in the waiting room can enjoy their copy of Highlights Magazine. Hope that kid has a cavity...


Monday, November 22, 2010

Mean Girls 2: Str8 2 DVD

Of course they did...


DO NOT WANT! "Stop trying to make Mean Girls 2 happen, it's not going to happen!" Well too bad, they already did it. Even though no one asked them to ruin a perfectly good movie, they decided to go ahead and make a direct-to-DVD sequel. So strap in for a basic retelling of the first movie except with different actors and an all around general sucky-ness. Cause who doesn't want a watered down low-budget version of the original movie with terrible acting? Apparently the girl with the wide-set vagina was unavailable but it appears Tim Meadows literally has nothing else to do, and agreed to be the only returning cast member from the first movie.

The two writers [that's right, it took two people to write this movie] are known for their other hits such as Charlotte's Web 2, Beethoven's 5th, and a handful of straight to video Barbie movies. Be sure to add this hot one to your Netflix queue right away cause I'm sure the one copy they'll have in stock will be flying off the shelves. Maybe if we're lucky, this franchise can go like Bring It On did. Why stop at just one terrible sequel when you can have 4 more?

Oprah's Audience Flips its Shit


Oprah seems to have an affinity for making her audience cry. By the extent of it you'd think she just told them about a cure for cancer, instead she's telling them about new sweaters and homemade Mac'n'Cheese. No free cars this year but some amazing hysterical shots and a jack in the box that poops out a giant inflatable cruise ship. So I'm confused, are they getting a free cruise or just a free blow-up ship? You can haz favsies:

Friday, November 19, 2010

Tron soundtrack can haz glowey Daft Punk poster!

People who pre-order the Tron Legacy soundtrack will get an extra little gift. Along with some amazing new music from Daft Punk you can haz a poster that also glows in teh darwk! This is important so you don't boop your nose on the wall.

The CD drops on Dec. 7th, however the poster is only included if you pre-order the physical CD, not digital download. The physical CD also comes with a digital download and immediate download of the track Derezzed. It's available for $35 on the Tron Soundtrack website.

8-bit Harry Potter


Though it's not technically a game, the creators sure went out of their way to make it feel like one, right down to the amazing retro music. You can watch Harry Potter in his summer school adventures and pick his path in this choose your own adventure video. Best part is you don't have to blow any cartridges to enjoy. Though if you have a Wiimote handy you can still work on your blowing skills.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

TRON STORE in LA


Los Angeles is about to become Los Trongeles...
...No?

Well, anyways, starting  tomorrow a Tron Pop-Up store will be opening in Culver City at Royal/T.  The store will feature a variety of cyber goodies ranging from Tron board shorts by Hurley, to Oakley's and even high-end jewlery. Here's all the technical specs and details: 
The TRON: Legacy Pop Up Shop will be open from November 19-December 23 at the Royal/T Art Space at 8910 Washington Blvd., Culver City, CA. Hours are 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. daily, with extended hours on Wednesdays to 10 p.m.
TRON Pop-Up Product Drop Schedule:
Nov. 19 - In addition to the array of pop-up shop merchandise for sale, limited quantities will be available from the TRON: Legacy couture collection for women designed by high-end designers Jerome C. Rousseau, Hayden-Harnett, Rotenier and TomTom, ranging in price from $90 - $2,600. As an exclusive for visitors, the TRON-inspired pieces from Los Angeles-based jewelry brand TomTom will only be available at retail at the TRON Pop-Up.
Nov. 30 - This week is especially designed for athletes and action-film fanatics. Limited edition products inspired by TRON: Legacy available this week include: an adidas compression top ($45), styling TRON board shorts from Hurley ($65) and special edition TRON: Legacy 3D eyewear from Oakley ($150).

Dec. 3 - Three different sets of limited-edition collectible artwork ($28.99-$76.99) selected directly from the film, plus actual film frames of different scenes from TRON: Legacy.

Dec. 7 - Soundtrack CD: The original motion picture score for TRON: Legacy composed and produced by the critically-acclaimed, Grammy-winning duo Daft Punk.

Special TRON Pop-Up Shop Events:
Dec. 17 - Fans can trade in their TRON: Legacy movie stub and collect a TRON keepsake available only on this date and for the first 300 people during Royal/T gallery hours.

Dec. 18 - Fans are welcome to join TRON Family Fun Day from Noon to 4 p.m. with art activities for the whole family including decorating a mini-lightcycle from Spin Master.
TRON Café Menu

A special TRON-themed menu will be offered at Royal/T‘s Japanese “cosplay” maid café during the course of the pop-up shop with TRON-inspired menu items such as a Reco Burger with Buffalo Sauce, Chipotle Aioli and Fried Onion Rings ($12); a Lightcycle Salad with Endives, Caramelized Oranges, and Toasted Pecans in a Yuzu Vinaigrette ($8); an Identity Disk Cake with White Chocolate Lava Cake and Blueberry Sauce ($6); alongside a shareable TRON: Legacy High Tea set featuring assorted Sweets and Savory Canapés, served with a choice of Tea ($25).

Kitteh + Gator = Frenemies


This cat plays "I boop ur nose" with a hungry gator, then has a good ol' fashioned staring contest. Who will win? Will the kitteh get nommed, or will the gator haz a sad tummy?

Monday, November 15, 2010

Hogwarts Hotline

It's late at night...You're home alone, sitting there, polishing your broomstick, and you're looking for a good time. Thinking about some cute little witch and her chamber of secrets. You've got a major case of petrificus totalus and these muggles just aren't getting your wands at the ready. You're feeling like a filthy little mudblood and want to whisper sweet nothings in parseltongue in someone's ear, who do you call? Why the Hogwarts Hotline of course you dirty little whorecrux!

Pick up your phone and dial: 267-436-5109


Unfortunately it isn't a Harry Potter sexline, but it does have some fun little information about Hogwarts. And you can always use it as a decoy number to give out to ugly squibs.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Fat Cat + Tiny Boxes


Maru is infamous for being a fat asian cat with an insatiable curiosity and ability to look consistently cute. Watch his escapades as he tries to fit into boxes that get decreasingly smaller, while he remains delightfully plump. Silly kitteh, you cannot haz fit!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Speilberg almost ruined Harry Potter

Two words: Animated Movie.


Thank god we dodged that bludger. Speilberg is a great man no doubt, but his recent movies certainly haven't packed quite as much of bite as his older swansongs like Jurassic Park or JAWS. It's a huge relief to hear that this never panned out, because his take on the franchise was to combine a couple of the books and make it animated. Silly muggle...

I can just imagine the crammed incoherent CGI mess it would have been, mostly liked voiced by Shia Lebeouf. He instead passed on the project in favor of making the mess Artificial Intelligence.

[Full Article]

Monday, November 1, 2010

How To Get Arrested In 7 Seconds


Simply do this in public and you should have no problem getting arrested! Preferably try it in the parking lot of an elementary school during recess.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Snickers Lady Costume Even Creepier on Stick


You may have thought it was creepy when there were two small children inside it, but as it turns out this costume from the Snickers Grocery Lady Commercial is even creepier when it's on a giant stick. Not to mention the fact there are no eyeballs and the one elongated hand pointed out.

The exact costume from the commercial was just auctioned off to the charity Feeding America. It sold for $1,900 which can buy enough fun size snickers to feed a small portion of America. I've no idea what exactly is so "fun" about the fun size bars, in fact i find it much more fun enjoyable when houses give away whole candy bars. The best is when you find a house giving out King Size bars or the larger and harder to find Diabetes Size.

The mask for the costume was apparently custom made, so the lucky bidder will now own the only one in the world. Unfortunately the two children are not included :(


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Daft Punk's Tron Legacy Music Video


If you hadn't heard Daft Punk composed the entire score for the new Tron: Legacy movie. They've just released a montage video for the track "Derezzed" with some amazing new footage. Watch below to see the new footage and hear the amazing music, not to mention see Garrett Hedlund get stripped down by a finger laser. The full soundtrack will be released 12/07. WANT!


Check out Create Advertising for more awesome trailers.

Japanese Game Teaches You How to Choke Babies

No Srsly, WTF?! Most games that try to be educational are just plain boring; however this one has a murderous twist! It's called Cooking Mama World: Babysitting Mama. A game primarily focused on cooking, now including babies? Go on......


So instead of getting paid $20 bucks an hour to watch a bratty kid, you pay someone $50 to blow pretend bubbles in the face of a creepy plush baby with an abnormally large head.
 

You'll learn valuable skills like how to insert the nunchuk portion of a Wiimote into a baby's mouth. If this does well it's rumored there'll be an expansion pack where you can invite your boyfriend over and ignore the baby while getting to third base.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Sexy Star Wars

Stuck on what to be for halloween? Tried a slutty version of everything already? Slave Leia has been done hundreds of times, mostly by overweight nerds at ComicCon who shouldn't be squeezing into that tight of an outfit. Well I bet you haven't tried to slut up the non-sexy characters in Star Wars yet! Lucky this site takes care of that for you:


If Darth Vadress, ChewBecca, and Storm Boober aren't good enough, perhaps you'd rather try a sexy R2D2?


Honestly I'm not sure which is worse. I've never had a desire to see R2 with a cameltoe, but I never ever pictured R2 without pants. And why so many shoes?!?!

Reminds me of this little gem:

Father & Son Send Camera to Space

A Brooklyn Dad & his kid [mostly the Dad] made a home-made device to send a camera to space. They used a weather balloon to float up into the upper stratosphere and an iPhone to track it once it landed.

Homemade Spacecraft from Luke Geissbuhler on Vimeo.

Scientists are researching other uses for this device, possibly to lift the toilet seat so guys don't have to reach down and touch it. No man wants to bend over and touch the pee-stained underbelly of the toilet seat but if we don't then women complain about pee left on the seat itself. I think the best solution here is for scientists to figure out a way for women to grow a penis, then we can all pee standing up. However we all need to remember not to poop standing up. I think I may have gotten off topic...oh yeah-SPACE!!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Tron Legacy Sneak Peek

Tron Legacy is taking a cue from Avatar and offering audiences the chance to catch the first 20 minutes of the movie in IMAX 3D. Unlike most of the crap being put out there this movie was actually filmed in 3D.


However tickets sold out pretty much as soon as they went up so unless you own a time machine, you're shit outta pixels. The movie comes out on December 17th, but you can nab the soundtrack which was scored by Daft Punk on December 7th.



Best Commercial Evah?!


Candy commercials have been pretty sweet recently. The Betty White Snickers commercial got an Emmy nomination. Also the Starburst ad for Berries'n'Creme with the Little Lad was a huge viral hit. Now just in time for Halloween is one of the most frightening commercials I've seen lately but for some reason cannot stop watching. A little reminiscent of Shaye Saint John anyone?

I can haz snikrz?! You can haz:

The Best 96 Seconds of Your Day


This cat srsly likes lollipops. Who can blame him? Cause we all know waiting in the middle of that blowpop which has striations that cut your tongue is some delicious gum whose flavor will last all for 20 seconds. Kudos on the amazing music choice.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Tom Hardy Will Be In Batman 3


Deadline is reporting that Tom Hardy is set to portray one of the leads in the next Christopher Nolan helmed Batman movie.
"Insiders are keeping the role secret and won't even say if he's up for a villain role, but that seems a reasonable assumption."

Let's keep our fingers crossed that he'll be playing the role of Streaker, the super villain that goes around ruining soccer games with his flopping penis of doom.

[Deadline]

New Planet Tries To Be Earth So Bad

O hai Gliese 581! Sitting a mere 20 light years away is a red dwarf star with a little planet creatively named Gliese 581g [should have been named Earth 2: 3D!]. There are over 400 known planets orbiting stars outside of our solar system; however this one in particular bears more significance than the others. The reason being that it sits right in the habitable zone which is just the right distance from its sun to allow liquid water. Any closer or further and the water would boil off or freeze. Since this distance is just right, if there is water it could also contain life, and if it contains life, it could also contain dinosaurs.


This planet is about 3-4 times as massive as ours so in order to get around, these dinosaurs would surely have invented flying cars by now. These flying auto-gyros would run on Unobtanium, a mineral which would be valued at 20 million a kilo. Obviously we'd need to steal it from them so the best way to do that is to fly to their planet, learn their ways and then blow up their hometree.

Now all this is purely speculation, there's no telling for sure if there's water on that planet. But according to the artist's depiction it looks just like Pandora and thinks it's pretty hot shit. Again speculation but if there is water scientists are pretty positive that there could be water parks, most likely with wave pools and lazy rivers.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Harry Potter To Be Converted Back To 2D

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 will now be released solely in 2D, the format in which the movie was originally filmed. WB was in the process of converting the footage to 3D but has since abandoned the process because it would not be done in time for the film's November 19th release date.


The studio is now concerned however that it will not be able to convert the 3D footage back to 2D in time. They'll have to painstakingly alter the movie frame by frame to make sure that nothing will appear like it's flying off the screen at your face. Audiences will be forced to wear sunglasses while watching in order to dull out the brightness that viewers normally experience when watching movies without 3D glasses.  Until 3D came around audiences found it impossible to distinguish objects in the foreground from those in the background. To combat this WB has been considering hanging broomsticks from strings in front of the screen and jiggling them up and down.


Alternatively there is a conversion process that tags all images throughout the film, identifying to viewers whether it's in the foreground or background. This gives people the illusion of 3D and depth without the need for cumbersome glasses. Otherwise movie goers watching a 2D version of Harry Potter might think there is a tiny 6-inch man flying next to Harry as opposed to following him in the background. Most likely the studio will release a hybrid of the movie should the conversion process not finish in time. This would be a 2D/3D version that would simply have both types of footage in it where the viewer removes and puts back on their glasses on every few seconds.

[Official Statement]

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Bear Force One


Pun intended. This video is pretty much exactly what you think it will be. Meet the Bear Force, a boyband, or should I say manband from the Netherlands. They enjoy dancing in pastel polo shirts, dancing while wet, and growing bodyhair. Check out their first single Bear4ce 1:

Friday, October 8, 2010

Chimp Rapes a Frog

OMFGSRSLY. As if monkeys weren't already hilarious enough, they've now added rape to their list of amusing acts. This chimp at the Honolulu Zoo decided to use a frog as a fleshlight.


Not only is it interspecies rape, but if it's a West African frog it could possibly spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment. Meaning, it could be also mean he's raping tranny frog.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Cereal Sex


If there's one thing adults love doing it's selling sex to children. Disney is the pro at this with all the casual slip-ins on their box art or dirty suggestions when you turn the volume up all the way. But there's one market that's been untapped for too long, and that's children's breakfast cereals.

Those boxes are already ripe for seduction. They've got Military officials who want to put their berries in childrens' mouths or grown Leprechauns who constantly have children chasing after them to get a hold of their charms. Apparently a "misprint" accidentally put a phone sex line's number on a cereal box instead of a phone number that donates to charity. Sneaky, I say, sneaky. Clever girl...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Srsly: Man Denies Owning Crack Found In His Crack


A Florida man pulled over for speeding denied ownership of a bag of cocaine found in his own butt. The cop who stopped him smelled a strong scent of weed after pulling him over and decided to search the man. He discovered a bag of weed hidden in his crack. Upon further inspection of his crack, he discovered a different type of crack. According to The Smoking Gun:
"I then searched his shorts again and felt another object that was in the crack of his buttocks. I pulled the object out from the exterior of his shorts and a clear plastic baggie with a white rock substance fell to the ground." This plastic bag, a test would later determine, contained 27 pieces of crack cocaine.
Roberts quickly disavowed ownership of the cocaine. “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is,” he claimed, adding that the crack in his crack was the property of a friend who had previously borrowed the car and left the drug on the passenger seat. Roberts explained that when he was pulled over for speeding, he concealed the second bag of narcotics.
A likely excuse, but I'm afraid your crack story has a big hole in it! Shidiot.
[Full Article]


Zack Snyder can haz Superman Movie


Break out the Sparkling Apple Snyder! 300 & Watchmen director Zack Snyder has been picked to direct the next Superman movie, well why not? He likes comics, superheroes and CG, so it seems like a good fit to the execs at WB. And it's not like he can make it any worse then the Bryan Singer trainwreck of a movie. Sure the entire movie is bound to be mostly CG and violence, but at least it won't be boring.

The best news is that Christopher Nolan [Dark Knight/Inception] is producing and came up with the story. It'd be better if he were directing but, keep your fingers crossed that instead it just means he'll get back to work on Batman 3. Hopefully the Superman movie will not be called Legend of the Superman: The Guardian of Earth'Oole!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Titanic 3D Poster


A deadly solar flare knocks an Ice Planet hurdling right into the path of the U.S.S.2.0 T1T@N1C during it's maiden voyage. Their only hope lies within R.O.S.E. (Robot Operating System w/ Emotions). Infused with the memories of Titanic survivor Rose Dawson, she'll stop at nothing to save the ship, that is if she control her emotions and her PMS.

Why not?! There's already a Titanic 2. And they're re-releasing both Titanic and the Star Wars movies in 3D. What's to stop them from making a 3rd, in THREE Dimensions?! You know a series gets good when they set it in space.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Hello R2!


This is an artist's rendition of a Hello Kitty version of R2D2. Aside from being adorable it's powered entirely by hugs and compliments.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Seabird, iPhone Killer?


O Hai Mozzila Labs' Seabird! Keep in mind this is only a concept, but if this were a reality and actually put in to production I'm sure it could take a huge chunk of the iPhone's marketshare. Some of the features are incredible. A built-in bluetooth device that also acts as a 3D clicker, not to mention a projector and IR keyboards/touchpad.


Check out the video below to see more features for this concept phone:


[Full Article]

Jar Jar Will Finally Be Annoying in 3-Dimensions

It's been a long wait. I know since the Episodes I-III of the Star Wars movies have come out people have been thinking, "How can we pay more to see these awful movies?" It wasn't enough to see Jar Jar being annoying in 2 Dimensions, I want him to actually be in my face while he's acting all "in my face." I've been dreaming of seeing Yoda in 3D so I can see every poorly rendered nook and cranny that could have been easily replaced by a real puppet. Just think of how much more dis-believable he'll be when you watch him in THREE dimensions!


You'll get to experience the grand computer generated landscapes under the dull tint of 3D glasses. No longer will you have to feel emotionally disconnected with every character in 2D. No one will be able to say that George Lucas' characters are one dimensional as you view them in three dimensions!
 
All six films are slated to be converted to 3D with The Phantom Menace in line to be re-released in early 2012. The others would hit theaters in order each consecutive year. Basically that means you can just wait until 2015 to see any of them when A New Hope is released.

[Article]

Hipster Dinosuars

No wonder they're extinct, no one wanted to procreate with them. An artist known as Molly Lewis drew these, take that 'inside of the lines'!





[Moar Photos 1]
[Moar Photos 2]

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Kevin Bacon's Head Made of Bacon

Currently up for bid on eBay is a sculpture of Kevin Bacon's head made out of actual bacon.


The listing states: "Life size bust of Kevin Bacon made entirely out of bacon with ALL PROCEEDS for charity and YES this is really real.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to own the most delicious piece of Bacon-on-bacon themed pop art ever created. Whether you are a fan of American film icon Kevin Bacon, animal protein art enthusiast or just a lover of bacon, the undisputed king of all meats - Bacon Kevin Bacon is a must have.

Don’t worry, BKB has been well lacquered and will stay tasty for generations to come so stop listening to your inner-doubt, put in a bid and make every person you will ever know jealous of your legendarily epic greatness.

*Bacon Kevin Bacon is not edible."


So there you have it. If you feel like coughing up a couple hundred bucks for period-red statue that looks slightly more like Conan O'Brien than Kevin Bacon then head over here: EBAY

[Full Article]

Napoleon riding a T-Rex

The past was awesome. No wonder he was so good at conquering.



Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Segway Owner Plunges to Death On Segway

Jimi Heselden is the owner of Segway, the two-wheeled vehicles that instantly transform you into a mobile douchebag. That is he was the owner until he fell off a cliff while riding his Segway.


He was riding a rugged country version of the Segway near his home in West Yorkshire, UK when the accident occurred. Sources say that lost control of the "vehicle" and was apparently still riding it when he plunged off a cliff into a river below. Next time you decide to go off-roading on your Segway be sure to use caution and stay away from giant cliffs. If you do feel it start to go out of control the smart approach may be to simply jump off.

[Full Story]