Seabird, iPhone Killer?

O Hai Mozzila Labs' Seabird! Keep in mind this is only a concept, but if this were a reality and actually put in to production I'm sure it could take a huge chunk of the iPhone's marketshare. Some of the features are incredible. A built-in bluetooth device that also acts as a 3D clicker, not to mention a projector and IR keyboards/touchpad.

Check out the video below to see more features for this concept phone:

[Full Article]

Jar Jar Will Finally Be Annoying in 3-Dimensions

It's been a long wait. I know since the Episodes I-III of the Star Wars movies have come out people have been thinking, "How can we pay more to see these awful movies?" It wasn't enough to see Jar Jar being annoying in 2 Dimensions, I want him to actually be in my face while he's acting all "in my face." I've been dreaming of seeing Yoda in 3D so I can see every poorly rendered nook and cranny that could have been easily replaced by a real puppet. Just think of how much more dis-believable he'll be when you watch him in THREE dimensions!

You'll get to experience the grand computer generated landscapes under the dull tint of 3D glasses. No longer will you have to feel emotionally disconnected with every character in 2D. No one will be able to say that George Lucas' characters are one dimensional as you view them in three dimensions!
 
All six films are slated to be converted to 3D with The Phantom Menace in line to be re-released in early 2012. The others would hit theaters in order each consecutive year. Basically that means you can just wait until 2015 to see any of them when A New Hope is released.

[Article]

Hipster Dinosuars

No wonder they're extinct, no one wanted to procreate with them. An artist known as Molly Lewis drew these, take that 'inside of the lines'!

[Moar Photos 1]
[Moar Photos 2]

Kevin Bacon's Head Made of Bacon

Currently up for bid on eBay is a sculpture of Kevin Bacon's head made out of actual bacon.

The listing states: "Life size bust of Kevin Bacon made entirely out of bacon with ALL PROCEEDS for charity and YES this is really real.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to own the most delicious piece of Bacon-on-bacon themed pop art ever created. Whether you are a fan of American film icon Kevin Bacon, animal protein art enthusiast or just a lover of bacon, the undisputed king of all meats - Bacon Kevin Bacon is a must have.

Don’t worry, BKB has been well lacquered and will stay tasty for generations to come so stop listening to your inner-doubt, put in a bid and make every person you will ever know jealous of your legendarily epic greatness.

*Bacon Kevin Bacon is not edible."

So there you have it. If you feel like coughing up a couple hundred bucks for period-red statue that looks slightly more like Conan O'Brien than Kevin Bacon then head over here: EBAY

[Full Article]

Napoleon riding a T-Rex

The past was awesome. No wonder he was so good at conquering.

Segway Owner Plunges to Death On Segway

Jimi Heselden is the owner of Segway, the two-wheeled vehicles that instantly transform you into a mobile douchebag. That is he was the owner until he fell off a cliff while riding his Segway.

He was riding a rugged country version of the Segway near his home in West Yorkshire, UK when the accident occurred. Sources say that lost control of the "vehicle" and was apparently still riding it when he plunged off a cliff into a river below. Next time you decide to go off-roading on your Segway be sure to use caution and stay away from giant cliffs. If you do feel it start to go out of control the smart approach may be to simply jump off.

[Full Story]

WANT: Sonic 4

SEGA just released a trailer for the third level in Sonic 4 called Casino Street Zone. This game is gearing up to be amazing by the looks of it. The first levels announced are Splash Hill, & Lost Labyrinth.

Splash Hill was playable at E3 and my firsthand experience with it was a huge relief. Fans have been asking since Sonic made the jump to 3D for an old school Genesis-style 2D Sonic game and that's exactly what this is. 

 

According to IGN: "The game will be available for download on the iTunes App Store starting Oct. 7, the Wii Shop Channel on Oct. 11, the PlayStation Network on Oct. 12 in America, and Xbox Live Arcade on Oct. 13 across all territories. Sonic 4 will be priced at 1500 Wii Points on WiiWare, 1200 Microsoft Points on Xbox Live Arcade, and $14.99 on the PlayStation Network." Check out the 3rd trailer below:

[Sonic Website]

Titanic Lady Finally Kicks the Iceberg

Gloria Stuart, who played the gross version of Kate Winslet with a saggy, wrinkly face and hands where the skin is really thin & sorta see-through but still surprisingly soft, just died at the age of 100. She's best and pretty much only known for her role in Titanic where she drops the fucking diamond off the boat in the end.

Not to worry though, her heart will live on when James Cameron re-releases Titanic in 3D so that they can charge you an extra $5 to see a movie you've already seen. Her face jowls will appear extra saggy and wrinkles more cavernous when viewed in 3D.

Monkeys are better than people

Srsly. Monkeys are the best animals ever invented. They are a constant source of entertainment, they're like nature's court jesters, and this is why:

Elephant can haz harmonica?!

You can haz. This lil baby Elliefan is not only playing a harmonica, but dancing at the same time. That's more talent than most of our current popstars. Not only does he write all of his music but he did all of the choreography himself. Check it out, awwww:

Katy Perry Shows Elmo Her BJ Face

 Whore-Galore Katy Perry recently took a break from shagging Russel Brand's janky bones to appear on an episode of Sesame Street. More like Seasame Street Corner, ooh! 

She did a re-tuned version of "Hot N Cold" with Elmo where she sings about how much she wants to "play" with him. Watch the video below to see her ridiculous cleavage.

Jurassic Park The Musical, Srsly.

Yah really. A group of people in Nebraska decided to put on a musical performance of Jurassic Park in their backyard for their parents and unwilling neighbors. 

 

If you have the time and the patience for super low-budget regional theatre, if a backyard can be considered a region, then by all means watch. I for one see this a blasphemous to the holy work of amazingness that is Jurassic Park, but i guess a lot of love did go into this. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but what you call imitation, I call the rape of the natural world. Below is part 1 of the video:

Jurassic Park the Musical Part 1 from Mark Hennings on Vimeo.

ZOMG!1! 2nd Harry Potter Trailer!

This ain't no trailer trash, this is friggin epic. Remember when Harry Potter used to be all magical and whimsical, tra la la?

Well now there's death, lightning, and Harry Potter cross dressers. Just drop what you're doing AND GO WATCH!

[Apple Trailers]

SCRE4M POSTER

Not to be outdone by 5nal Destination. The new Scream 4 poster features the number 4 in place of the 'A' making it impossible to phonetically pronounced without sounding like an idiot. However it works perfectly for any forums or online discussion boards about the movie which can be called  a "Screfourm".

The movie will feature a familiar cast including Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette, who constantly looks like he's squinting from the sun.

Sideways Bicycle

Now you can finally ride side-saddle like a dainty lady! Too long have bikes been uncomfortably forcing us to face the direction we're going. Not a problem any longer! With this new sideways bike you can awkwardly manage to steer with the ever present danger of falling backward with no means of stopping your momentum other than hitting the unforgiving pavement.

Feel like getting in the holiday spirit? Just attach a broomstick, don a pointy hat and - viola! Instant spooky witch!! Normal bikes have the cumbersome burden of being able to move fast and change gears. Who needs those fancy features when you can go spread eagle on this bad boy?

Viagra Movie with Jake Gyllenhaal is 'Coming' Soon

It's going to be pretty hard to pass this movie up. Love & Other Drugs stars Jake Gyllenhaal's body which repeatedly has sex with Anne Hathaway. Occasionally between shirtless scenes his face talks, something about selling Viagra or something. The trailer and ads prominently feature Jake getting naked, or Jaked.

The movie will be released November 24th, just one week after Harry Potter comes out so it will have some stiff competition.

Finally, spray-on clothing

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's things that don't come out of a can. We already get our liquid sustenance from soda cans, and it's only a matter of time before all food is in can form.

Finally science has taken a break from curing diseases and inventing time travel to come up with something completely practical. And that something is spray-on, removable, washable clothing. No longer will you have to constantly apply silly string clothing only to have it shrivel and shrink leaving you naked and smelling a little like chemicals. If this has taught us anything it's that Futurama was right!

Sony Finally Invents the "Wii"

Sony's Move will take gaming to a new level, the level it was at 4 years ago when the Nintendo Wii was introduced.

Playstation 3 owners can now pay additional money for what is basically a black Wii-mote with a rubber ball on the end the lights up. Fake sources say the idea was taken from when the president of Sony visited his granny at Forgotten Acres Retirement Home. The seniors were enjoying themselves while playing Wii Sports and he noticed every single walker had a cut open tennis ball stuck on the bottom. 

 
Why they don't just make walkers that have sliding material instead of rubber stoppers is beyond me, but he thought putting  a big stupid ball at the end of the remote would make it more appealing to the elderly. Other early prototypes included putting different attachments on the end such as: cups of pudding, prune juice, Werther's Original Hard Candies, and Phone Calls from their Children.

Below is a video Sony is using to promote the move by scaring people with the "Move Men". The story goes that if you look in the mirror at midnight and say "move men" three times they show up at your party and eat all your pizza without chipping in.

Stupid Bird Tries To Mate With Man's Head

This endangered Parrot tries to mate with the head of a British photographer. Well it's no wonder this thing is endangered if it's trying to mate with the back of some dude's head.

How's it expect to repopulate its species if it can't tell the difference between a fellow female bird and a skull? Apparently the bird likes it rough too. I can't imagine the female birds being all that eager to mate if sex includes digging their claws in and beating you repeatedly with wings. Then again, some people like that sorta stuff. Also interesting is that it went after a male's head. Something tells me this bird is a little bicurious.

Video after teh pounce!

Suicidal Baby Crawls Into Traffic

This baby had had enough. He was tired of other babies calling him fat, making fun of his XL Huggies & saying he looked more like a toddler.  Other babies would taunt, "I bet you haven't even started teething yet. Why don't you go poop behind the couch." They'd call him names like "breastfeeder, milk-whore, and nipple-clamp." This baby saw only one way out. Taking a hint from the Canadians, he knew that if there's one thing drivers love, it's children in the street as targets. So he crawled into oncoming traffic to end his miserable 4 month existence.

Video after teh pounce!

Inception A Cappella

Since Inception was the only real movie to come out this summer [aside from Toy Story 3] it's all people have been able to talk about, imitate, or parody. The well-known trailer takes another hit with this re-dubbed a cappella version.

It's Velociraptor Season

Are you prepared? Apparently September is National Velociraptor awareness month.

Think you're not at risk for raptor attacks, think they're just a 6-foot turkey? Think again. We already know that they're lethal at 8 months and I do mean lethal, but they're also astonishing jumpers. They won't enter your house from the front door, but from the side, through the bathroom window. Think that a fence will stop them? They'll test that fence for weaknesses, systematically.

Are you being hunted? [Get the Facts]

Fat Cat + Pot

Ever wanted to see a cat with muffin top? Then watch these videos. This delightfully plump cat attempts to fit into a large pot that isn't quite large enough. What could be inside that has this cat so intrigued? Is it some catnip to nom on, or a piece of string? Or maybe its just a sanctuary to get away and binge on tender vittles without those judging eyes constantly watching, saying "You sure you wanna eat that? Didn't you just have a whole can of Fancy Feast AND a mouse?"

Pixar Newters Its Line Up

Pixar has quit production on its movie Newt in favor of working on Cars 2.

According to their official facebook page: "As most of you already know, "Newt" is no longer in development at Pixar. However, that doesn't mean we can't share some of the Pixar artists' amazing artwork with our Facebook fans!"

 

It's a shame because this was evolving into what looked like it would have been an adorable movie. Instead we'll be left with a sequel to Pixar's runt of the litter. At least Cars 2 will be animated so we won't have to actually look at Owen Wilson's face. More photos after teh pounce!

Kittens vs. Egg, FIGHT!

Someone cue the Mortal Kombat music and start mashing buttons till you have an indented "A" in your thumb.

Easter comes early this year for this kittehs as they fight bravely against a deadly Easter egg. POUNCE!!

Backing Up, Boop Boop!

This is by far one of the catchiest auto-tuned news songs I've ever heard. It all started with this adorable eccentric woman who witnessed a robbery. The trend for the news now seems to be to find the craziest person and interview them for the world to mock. Here is the original:

And here is the auto-tuned version that you'll be singing all week:

Kristen Wiig will now play every character on SNL

Will Forte has just announced he will not be returning to SNL next season leaving Kristen Wiig with the sole responsibility of carrying the entire show.

Not much was said about why he was leaving other than he was thankful for the 8 seasons he had and would be pursuing other opportunities. Perhaps he might go on to have a successful post-SNL movie career like Chris Kattan or Jimmy Fallon. One can only hope he will be replaced by an additional competent ethnic person which the show has severly been lacking since Maya Rudolph's departure. Kennan Thompson doesn't count, I said competent!

[NYTimes Article]

Christian Ronaldo's Abs Appear in Commercial

Christian Ronaldo =  Nom Nom Nom

Christian Ronaldo in his underwear =  OM Nom Nom Nom

 

Look below to check out his new ad for Armani. More of his 'acting ability' will be posted on Sept 15th.  Expect his acting to include: Looking, staring, furrowing of the brow, and not wearing clothes.

3D Road Illisuion Finally Gives Drivers Somethting To Aim At

Drivers in Canada now have something to break up the monotony of driving a target-free road. The Community Against Preventable Injuries is experimenting by placing little girls in the middle of the road.

Instead of placing actual children in the street [though ideal, would prove too costly for maintenance and repair], they've opted for a 45 ft little girl. Don't get your hopes up, this isn't a Honey I Blew Up The Kids sort of deal, its actually a stretched out road decal. Wonderful, so not only do our movies all have to be in 3D now, but our roads have to be as well?! If you ask me this is just an excuse so they can tack on an extra $5 to our tolls for having 3D roads. Hollywood, who knew you could stoop so low?

[Full Article]

Srsly: 100 Cats set loose in IKEA

Mreowf!

For Srsly. A buncha people in the UK thought it'd be a great idea to take over an IKEA for the night and find out what happens when they let loose 100 cats.

As far as I can tell, there was no purpose for this experiment other than to "see what happens." As usual the kittehs run amok and crawl into places they're not supposed to. Ikea shoppers should now expect to find a few surprise Swedish meatballs left in their newly purchased Grübånstrøm.

The Room: The Video Game

OMFG. Someone srsly made The Room into an 8-Bit vidja game! There's ample amounts of love put into this game including every reference from spoons to disgusting sexy times with Johnny and Lisa. you'll be saying "O Hai Denny!" before you know it. If you've ne'er seen The Room do yourself a favsies and find the Nearest Screening, grab a few friends, and GO. Don't bother watching the trailer, just go and laugh at one of the worst movies ever made, possibly worse than Brendan Fraser's Furry Vengeance.

[O Hai! Play Me!]

Lady GaGuy?

Apparently Lady GaGa has an alter ego that is much more interesting and much less stupid than Beyonce with combed up eyebrows. She calls her male persona "Jo Calderone" and he/she'll appear on the cover of Vogue Hommes Japan.

The issue comes out on Friday September 10th. More photos after teh pounce!