Segway Owner Plunges to Death On Segway

Jimi Heselden is the owner of Segway, the two-wheeled vehicles that instantly transform you into a mobile douchebag. That is he was the owner until he fell off a cliff while riding his Segway.

He was riding a rugged country version of the Segway near his home in West Yorkshire, UK when the accident occurred. Sources say that lost control of the "vehicle" and was apparently still riding it when he plunged off a cliff into a river below. Next time you decide to go off-roading on your Segway be sure to use caution and stay away from giant cliffs. If you do feel it start to go out of control the smart approach may be to simply jump off.

[Full Story]

Google Instant (Does not make coffee)

Internet users can no longer be bothered to type full sentences. We want results and we want them 2-5 seconds ago! Thats why Google now introduces Google Instant. Instead of the trivial task of pressing "Enter" Google begins to instantly search and update whatever you're typing with each keystroke.

According to Google: "Using Google Instant can save 2-5 seconds per search. If everyone uses Google Instant globally, we estimate this will save more than 3.5 billion seconds a day. That’s 11 hours saved every second." Finally web users will have more time to browse for pornography and videos of cats. Google Instant also makes it more accessible for the elderly to be offended by the suggested searches in auto-complete.

[Google Instant]

Carls Jr. introduces footlong heartattack

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As if Carl's Jr. also known as Hardee's, didn't spend enough time trying to kill you with their 1,000+ Calorie burgers, they've introduces a footlong cheeseburger which can clog your arteries for a mere $4.00. Looks like the KFC Double Down has some competish!