Cat Yodeling

Instead of putting cats in garbage bins, might I suggest this more harmless act: Cat Yodeling.
There may be some subtle annoyance from your cat, but no more than they give you when waking you up at 6 am to sleep on your face and meow for food. It should be noted this should not be tried on all animals, especially raccoons.

All Hail Scuba Cat

Why can't all the news be like this? Murders, Rapes, Politics, who cares, there's a fucking cat with a fishbowl on it's head scuba diving in a pool!!! Next stop the ocean. The perfect way for a cat to get a firsthand look at all teh fishies!

Gooby

Eugene Levy really has nothing better to do. I'm starting to think he doesn't even bother to read the scripts that he gets. Attached is one of the worst trailers ever, aside from Furry Vengeance. Apparently they were only able to get the rights to just one song. I also think there is a fine line between Children's movies and Horror.

Revenge of the Cat

Stupid bitch Mary Bale gets her comeuppance! Rubbish, Filth, Slime, Muck!

Cats in things. Ur doin it wrong

I know I said putting cats in things is great, but this is the absolute wrong way to do it. FAIL.

The right way is to put them in things like bags and boxes, you know things that are small and most importantly, DON'T HAVE LIDS.

Poor Lola was trapped in this bin for 15 hours before her owners found her crying for help. The insane woman as been identified as the Queen of Garbage: Mary Bale. This kooky English nitwit described her actions as a "split second of misjudgement." Sure, that's why she looked around to make sure no one was watching. Boo this woman! BOO!

Let's put this cat in a bucket

Cats love being inside tiny things. Why not aide them in their pursuit and sing about it at the same time? You could spend tons of money on a carpeted kitty tower that you'll just end up hanging your laundry on. OR you can just give them the bag in which you carried all their expensive catnip infused toys in or a box and they're just as happy.

Talking Shells!

It's not what you're thinking, no mutants, no ninjas, no turtles, just Marcel the shell with shoes on. Voiced by SNL's Jenny Slate the little shell is oh so teh kyute. Srsly I want one.

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

OMG SRSLY BRB!!1!

Oh noes!! ima b out of town for bit, k? Dunno if I can haz da WiFies. [or da WaffleFries..nomz]

Iz k, i b bak soon! till then:

INVISIBLE UPDATES!

Kthnxbai!!!

Chloe

O Hai Chloe Sevigny! I have no idea half the words you're saying but I like your hat-bracelet!

Batman Pug

This is just one of those things I will never get tired of. We need to teach more animals to speak. Can we please catch up to the technology from the 1995 movie Congo and start equipping pugs with sign language gloves? I want to see them calling women ugly when they get jealous of the attention they get.

Upception Trlr

Here's what would happen if Chris Nolan worked at Pixar. You'd get a mind boner and would leave the theater crying.

Happy Sequential Day!

2010 is a great year for dates. And no I'm not talking the awkward ones where you meet up with a stranger and attempt to hold your farts in all night. I mean number dates.
Today is 8-9-10. Only one more month until 9-02-10. Following that will be 10-10-10. Personally I'm looking forward to 10-10-220 so I can start saving on my collect calls.

Super Happy Pizza Dance!!1!

Apparently in Korea you must dance for your hairy pizza. Dance and pose. Then awkwardly wait for applause before eating. I had no idea meals were so choreographed, I'd hate to see what Thanksgiving is like.

Tom Hardy still kind of gay, sort of...

Apparently the interview with Tom Hardy talking about his past sexual experiences with men was taken out of context, and also took place in 2008. His interview was with the UK's Attitude Magazine and the full quote is below:

Have you ever had any sexual relations with men?

As a boy? Of course I have. I'm an actor for *beep*'s sake. I'm an artist. I've played with everything and everyone. But I'm not into men sexually. I love the form and the physicality but the gay sex bit does nothing for me. In the same way as a wet vagina would turn someone else into a lemon-sucking freak. To me it just doesn't compute now I'm into my 30s and it doesn't do it for me and I'm done experimenting.

Have you done it all?

Not all but I can imagine. We've all got an *beep* and I can imagine. It just doesn't do it for me, sex with another man. But there's plenty of stuff in a relationship with another man, especially gay men, that I need in my life. A lot of gay men get my thing for shoes. I don't think I'm metrosexual but I'm definitely my mother's son. I have definite feminine qualities and a lot of gay men are incredibly masculine.

So there you have it. Basically he's fooled around with men before, but isn't gay, no different than most Catholic priests. Looks like all the mo's out there will have to stop hoping and start dreaming. But dreams seem to be Tom's specialty, and you can go as deep as you want ;)

Read more: EOnline

Pedo-Yogi-Bear

The copy on this poster reads: "Great things come in bears."

Somewhere out there a copywriter thought this was a good idea. Not only that, but advertising producers and a movie studio executive thought so as well. The truth is multiple levels of people approved a poster for a children's movie featuring a bear behind another one talking about coming in bears while making a surprised orgasm face.

Bravo. Here I thought this movie was going to be some cheesy throwaway kids movie, when in fact we're in store for a hardcore rauchy adult CG movie featuring some nasty furry homo-bear sex. It all makes sense now. I mean what sort of heterosexual bear has picnics all the time? And who is Boo Boo trying to fool with that lavender bow-tie? Plus they're naked around eachother all the time. Can't wait till this Christmas when they "Bear it all!" The anticipation should be nearly unbearable.

WOMAN PUBLISHES BOOK ENTIRELY IN CAPS

NO JOKE, SRSLY!

For a paltry $135 you can purchase this book which not only is written entirely in caps but has innumerable spelling and: grammatical errors, even in the title. The cover features a woman looking like she had no idea she's posing for the cover of a book.

According to the table of contents the first chapter alone is 116 pages and Chapter 8 is called, "WHEN DOES LIFE BEGAN??"

It baffles me that people put serious time and effort to physically publish this book. More baffling is to how anyone can read all 650 pages of caps without their eyes bleeding.
[Amazon]

Hardcore Kitteh

Hardcore Kitteh needs no parachute.

HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO HUSB, CAUSE THEY MARRYING ERVRYBODY OUT HERE!

Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that California's Gay Marriage ban was unconstitutional today. Too long has the institution of Marriage been reserved for bickering straight couples. Gays will finally know what it's like to slowly meld into a sexless relationship of hate that you stay in for the kids so that they can grow up to resent you for arguing all the time. Finally we can experience the bitter joys of divorce that over 50% of married straight couples get to experience. Gays can now rejoice, but not too much, we still have a long way to go before we can start marrying our cats.

[Full Article Here]

Queen of Vagina - The Vagina Song

Let's be honest, YouTube was made so that people could post videos of themselves singing in their livingroom. However; I don't think the creators had stuff like this in mind when they made it. The video features an Eve look-a-like singing mostly about her 'vagina' with riveting lyrics written in 3rd grade English.

Warning: this song is incredibly catchy. In fact I just overheard one of my coworkers singing "Vag-vaga-vagina," be sure to crank up the speakers.

I Am Not A Princess - Marina & The Diamonds

O.M.G. Check out this amazing fan-made video for the talented new artist Marina & The Diamonds that will give you a blowgasm. It's a take on your favorite Princess stories and classic Fairy Tales but with a twist, one you don't have to sit through an awful M. Night Shyamalan movie for!

Marina herself has already seen it and gives it a very accurate description.


Those of you patient enough, I highly suggest watching in HD. It's shot on a RED camera so it's worth it.

Be sure to check out Eugene Lee Yang's other videos on his YouTube page including the popular Lady GaGa video, also seen by the Lady herself. This director's going places!

Trio of Tri's with Pluto

Someone had to do it. In the same vain of the Three Wolf Moon shirt, someone came out with three Triceratops howling at Pluto shirt. That'll show those scientist what's what! Look fashionable while simultaneously being completely out of date.

Cats VS. Treadmill

Two cats fight a moving treadmill and their nerves. They indulge their never ending curiosity by patting things they don't understand with their paw.

New Apple Trackpad makes browsing Porn easier

Apple has unveiled their latest device to make searching for porn faster, easier, and more efficient. The device utilizes gesture-based controls which porn users are already quite familiar with. No longer will your right hand be jealous of all the gestures your left hand is doing while looking at pornography. Finally it's multi-touch for the user who loves to touch.

The trackpad is basically a larger version of the already familiar laptop version. The difference is this is for your desktop computer, meaning you can watch porn on a larger screen while using the device. It recognizes gestures that at-home computer users would simulate doing in the event they were actually having intercourse with another human being. Things like using using their fingers to swipe, pinch, and rub.

The trackpad has a thin metal and glass surface that is easy to clean should any substances come in contact with it. And seeing as it's a wireless device that uses a bluetooth signal, users can easily surf for porn away from their desk. Finally giving people the freedom to fast forward to that one part in the video they like whilst making love to a fleshlight stuck between their mattress and box-spring.

The Magic Trackpad retails for $69. Teehee. [Apple]

Tina Fey, the early years

O Hai!! Looks like her self impressions of her embarrassing first acting jobs on 30 Rock weren't too far off. Here's a glimpse of a lesbian-haired Tina saying the word "hi" a lot. Kthnxhai!!

Mutual Savings Bank - "Hi!" - Featuring Tina Fey from Purple Onion Films on Vimeo.