Oil Rig Explosion, or Cry For Attention?

Let's be honest, these Oil Rig explosions are becoming far too common to be sheer coincidence. I mean two in one summer?! But no one's saying what they're really thinking, these are all just serious cries for attention. With today's Mariner Energy explosion it's pretty clear that the oil rig was just exploding purely for the media attention. Maybe it was sad that no one came to its sweet 16 party, or that it barely has any followers on Twitter, either way, it's a pretty childish act. Someone needs to sit down with these Oil Rigs and tell them you can't just go exploding just because Calvin, the hunky highschool QB is taking that slut Amberly to the school dance. Spilling their oil into the ocean once a month is a completely natural occurrence that every teen rig will go through when it's that time of the month. But doing it more than that is completely wasteful and deprives starving Americans of delicious Organic Oil. So please, stop exploding, and start living.